Off to the Races
by amyduckpond
Summary: Rachel and Jesse were best friends as kids, but life manages to get in the way. They were only apart a year, yet everything seemed to change. Jesse leaves Carmel and goes to McKinley only to discover the young bright eyed brunette he once knew now has blue streaks in her hair refers to herself and her friends as "skanks". Now, Jesse's on a mission to get the Rachel he knew back.
1. Prologue

**AN: The fic is pretty AU, but everything is explained here in the prologue. Not that it's very important, but the title is a song by Lana Del Rey; I was listening to it when the idea for this smacked me in the face. Well anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

Rachel and Jesse had been best friends since either of them could remember. Jesse's aunt and uncle had been close friends with Rachel's dads for years, and when Jesse's parents shipped him off to their siblings house, naturally, he had met their friends daughter.

He had been ten at the time; she had been eight; they both shared a love for the performing arts, even at such a young age; it was what ultimately had brought them together.

* * *

"Watcha doing?" Jesse looked over at a small brunette who had suddenly asked him a question. He thought the answer was pretty obvious, him sitting at a piano and all, but he decided to enlighten her anyway.

"Playin' one of the songs my aunt taught me," he replied, looking down at her bright eyes. "You want me to teach you?"

The young girls' eyes flew open at the offer and she nodded her head quickly; he tried not to laugh at how fast she climbed onto the piano bench and took a seat next to him.

"Okay you just put your fingers on these keys… then after that you put them over here…" she was a fast learner, which surprised him considering she was only eight years old; at least that's how old he thought uncle Drew had said on their way over to the Berry household.

She was able to play the first few chords, but grew frustrated when her fingers couldn't stretch enough to get one. Jesse watched with an amused smile as she continued to try even though no matter how hard she tried, her fingers wouldn't be big enough, "here let me help you," he offered.

In order to reach the keys he had to stretch one arm around her, not that he minded much; most boys at his school were convinced girls had some disease, but Rachel looked okay to him. After they finally seemed to play the song together, the small girl looked up from the keys at the boy whose arm was around her. He was still focused on the keys and she started to notice how pretty he was; you can call boys pretty, right?

"I'm Rachel," she pronounced proudly; he looked up at her and smiled, "Jesse." Remembering how his dad would always introduce himself to people, Jesse stuck his hand out; with a giggle, Rachel accepted it.

"It's nice to make your acquaintance, Jesse," she replied in a tone trying to sound proper, like one of the princesses from the movies she enjoyed to watch so often.

"Likewise, Miss Berry," he kissed the top of her hand, making the young girls cheeks turn a bright shade of pink.

Neither adolescent noticed the four adults watching them with amused faces. "Ten dollars says they're getting married someday," Drew, Jesse's uncle, whispered quietly. Cat, Drew's wife, shushed him gently, worried that the kids would overhear them. None of the adults took on his bet though, because they were all thinking the same thing.

* * *

Even as years passed the two only became more inseparable. They attended a year of middle school together, doing the school play, performing in music concerts, trying to get every class together if possible, but due to their difference in age they were only able to get music since so little students took the class. Jesse would comfort Rachel whenever a crush went after a cheerio rather than her, and she would be there for him whenever he began to feel sad about his parents. Cat and Drew were wonderful, but knowing full well that your parents wanted nothing to do with you was a lot to deal with. Jesse worried how Rachel would be without him, since he was to be in high school without her for a few years, but she would constantly assure him she was fine; they talked everyday anyway, so how could she not be?

But, as always, good things must come to an end. Somehow the press had found out about Jesse's parents making him live with his aunt and uncle while they paraded around Paris, and needless to say that was not good for their image.

His mother and father had taken the first plane back to Akron, and promptly moved back into their old house, taking Jesse along with them. It was the May of his sophomore year and since even though he didn't live in the area anymore, the school agreed to let him finish out the year.

He tried to spend his summer with Rachel, but the Berry's weren't as "high class" as the St. James were, at least his parents part of the St. James, and whenever he tried, his parents would refuse to let him go.

The only time he had gotten to see her was whenever he called Cat and Drew to ask if he could come over, since they would know to invite the Berry's over at the same time; without telling his parents, of course.

It had been okay, but not nearly as much as they would like. Eventually, because it's always bound to happen, Rachel and Jesse slowly began drifting apart.

Things got even worse as soon as Jesse started his junior year at Carmel; Rachel at McKinley. While he was quickly becoming the star of Vocal Adrenaline, she was busy just trying to start a glee club; it had been successful, but they had managed to even loose sectionals, and the only thing to come out of it was Rachel constantly getting slushies thrown at her.

That year Hiram Berry passed away from a stroke. Cat and Drew had tried to call Jesse to ask him to go to the funeral, but he was too preoccupied with Vocal Adrenaline and the self-image he was now making for himself; it killed Drew, too. He had always praised Jesse for not turning into his father, but now he was starting to see it.

The summer before her sophomore year Rachel had taken a turn for the worst; Quinn Fabray, the school's head skank, had noticed Rachel alone and decided to, in other words, take her under her wing. Rachel got blue streaks in her hair, began wearing cropped shirts and long skirts, and even began smoking occasionally. Although Quinn had pushed her to get one, Rachel couldn't bring herself to get a tattoo.

Summer proved to be a time for change for another family, though. The press had found a bigger and better scandal than the St. James ignoring their son, leaving his parents able to flee to Paris again. They left without a second thought, depositing their son, yet again, on his aunt and uncle, who were all too happy to take him in.

Drew had expressed his fears to Cat about Jesse turning into his father, and the two sincerely hoped that he could change. In addition to helping himself, they hoped he could help Rachel. They knew her father's death had taken a toll on her and Cat swore she had seen her with a not-so-savory group of people. As children, Rachel and Jesse always had brought the best out of each other; they hoped that still applied.


	2. Chapter 1

**AN: The response to this story has been so phenomenal so just wow thank you, all of you omg! As a heads up, I'm going to try and update weekly (So this chapter is coming out earlier than usual). Well anyway, enjoy the first legitimate chapter! **

* * *

Jesse straightened out the backpack he currently had slung over one shoulder. It was his first day at McKinley High and, needless to say, he was _not _thrilled. Back at Carmel, he was at the top of the food chain, so to speak. He was the lead singer of Vocal Adrenaline, and even led them to an obvious victory at Nationals; not to mention could date nearly any girl he wanted to, and was acing all of his classes. He had been excited to enter senior year, knowing that he would lead Vocal Adrenaline to yet another win –almost guaranteeing him a place at Tisch.

Something about him had changed whilst at Carmel, and he knew it. Jesse St. James was no longer the child he was before; his dad had quickly made sure of that. After getting yelled at for merely walking into Carlton St. James office at home once to say hello to his father and getting slapped for doing it a second time, he learned two important things: one, that the only person that really looks out for you, is yourself; two, that, as a St. James, there wasn't time spent learning how to grow up; you simply were.

He had missed living with Cat and Drew, though; it seemed that he was automatically turning back into the person he was before the year he spent with his parents. Of course he wasn't completely changed; no one could change that drastically so fast, but his aunt and uncle had high hoped they would be able to make it happen, although they would never verbally express those thoughts to Jesse.

After meeting with Figgins since he was going to be a new student this year, Jesse was told to meet with Mr. Schuester since it was automatically assumed that, coming from Vocal Adrenaline, he would want to be in New Directions, McKinley High's very own glee club.

Jesse knocked on the door frame to announce his entrance since the door was already opened. The man he assumed to be Will Schuester looked up and smiled as soon as he processed who was standing in front of him.

"Oh Jesse St. James, if I'm correct? Pleasure to meet you, my name is Will Schuester," he greeted the teen while standing up so he could extend his hand.

Jesse walked forward to shake the older man's hand, and both took a seat on other sides of his desk, "That would be me; nice to meet you as well, Mr. Schuester."

"Oh please, most of my kids call me Mr. Schue," he replied genuinely; it was weird seeing a glee coach so kind. Shelby was to Jesse of course, but not to many others, and here he was meeting the New Directions coach for the first time and he was already greeted like he had been here years.

"So, Mr. Schue, I was told you were the person to talk to if I was hoping to join New Directions?" he questioned, still keeping the meeting formal, as was his custom with things.

Will nodded happily; he had watched Jesse perform on YouTube before since last year he was all Rachel would talk about for about a month; then she suddenly stopped. He always thought to question it, but left that to Ms. Pillsbury since it was her job, after all; he figured she would be better at it than him.

"You were told right. Of course you know you'll have to audition, although I should let you know that everyone who has auditioned has gotten in, so don't be worried," Mr. Schue replied, having a feeling Jesse probably wasn't the kind of kid to get worried.

"Oh don't worry, I wasn't. I would like to know who my female lead is, though." He knew in the teacher before him eyes he probably sounded like a jackass, but it wasn't like he wasn't going to be male lead –unless Will Schuester was a complete moron.

Will was thrown off at the young man's obvious assurance in himself; he was pretty sure the only kid he'd only seen that in before was Noah Puckerman. "Well I should tell you now that I like to make sure every student gets a chance to shine; that is what glee club is all about, after all. However, I do give most female solos to Mercedes Jones. I must warn you though Jesse, I usually give male solos to Sebastian Smythe."

An eyebrow shot up the instant he heard Mercedes name; didn't Rachel go here? Sure he hadn't thought much of the brunette lately, but she was still one of the best female singers he had ever heard; he already knew she was much better than whoever this Mercedes Jones was.

Quickly hiding the look of surprise on his face and replacing it with a smirk, he was quick to correct the teacher sitting across from him, "oh you do for now; I'm not sure if you've ever heard me sing, Mr. Schuester, but in case you haven't, to give you an idea I lead Vocal Adrenaline to a Nationals win last year. Now I'd say that's probably better than your Sebastian, but I'm always up for a competition; especially if it actually is one."

He tried to wipe the smirk of his face once he realized that Mr. Schue may put his students and his own feelings ahead of wanting to win competitions, but the dumbstruck look on the older man's face made it impossible for Jesse to do so.

Breaking the awkward silence between the two, Jesse continued, "Well I think the bell's going to ring soon so I better be off; they already added glee club to my schedule since they assumed I'd be in it, so I'm auditioning then, yes?"

Finally finding the words to say at Jesse's blunt cockiness, Will replied with a sigh, "Yes, you will be auditioning then; it's right down the hall on the right."

The younger man stood up and nodded, "I think I'll be able to find it; it was nice meeting you, Mr. Schuester."

"Nice meeting you, Jesse," he replied with a nod, watching as his new student walked out of his classroom; how he and Rachel ever crossed paths he was still unsure about.

Upon walking out of Will Schuster's office, Jesse checked the watch on his wrist; he knew the bell was about to ring, meaning the hallway was soon going to be filled with students just like him. Realizing that he had yet to find his locker, he quickly walked down the hallway staring at the number on each locker he passed, completely disregarding where he was going.

"Damn it," he heard a female voice yell out after he had managed to walk straight into her, knocking the messenger bag, along with its contents, off her shoulder. He leaned down to try and help whoever she was, but she quickly began gathering her items; a small sketch book, her phone, and an iPod, among other items. The sketch book had fallen open slightly and he caught a small glimpse of a drawing on one of the pages he swore resembled himself.

After the initial shock of thinking this girl had drawn a picture of him, he looked at her, even though she continued to keep her head down, "I'm sorry, I'm new and I was trying to find my locker," he said with a chuckle.

"Just watch where you're going, dumbass," the girl replied with a sigh as she stood up and walked away quickly. He only managed to catch a glimpse of her face –if it was even that much. She looked familiar, but he had no idea where he would have met her before. Not only had he never been to McKinley, but the girl was in dark clothing that didn't cover much of her, had blue in her hair, at least he thought he saw blue, and clearly she wanted nothing to do with anyone.

He shrugged off the strange encounter and continued onto class, the image of a sketch he was still positive was him floating in his mind.

* * *

His classes had been unbelievably slow; most of the teachers either had no idea what they were doing or they didn't care. It was annoying, but at least he didn't have to worry about his grades dropping at all.

Jesse walked into the cafeteria talking to Joey, another senior he had met during his English class. They sat down with the rest of Joey's friends, and after Jesse learned who everyone was they quickly fell into normal conversation.

He then remembered the girl he had run into earlier and decided to see if they knew who she was; surely there couldn't be too many girls around here that looked like that. "Hey I ran into this girl earlier today; long skirt, short shirt, brunette with blue streaks or something…" he left the statement open waiting for one of the guys at the table to tell him the girls name.

Andrew, a blond who Jesse learned wanted to be a director but was on the basketball team to make his father happy, cast Jesse a knowing smile, "only been here for a day and you're already wanting one of the skanks, St. James?" he chuckled at the obvious surprise on the new kids face at the mention of the skanks. "She's one of the what?" now Jesse was really confused as to how he would know her.

"The skanks; basically they all wear clothes too small for them, smoke, and hang out under the bleachers where they have a couch or something," Andrew replied. "It's probably loaded with STD's too," Joey added with a laugh.

"The skank you're talking about in particular would be one Rachel Berry," the blond continued, ignoring his friend. Jesse thanked God he wasn't drinking anything while listening because at the mention of Rachel being called a skank made him positive he would have spit it out everywhere.

"Rachel Berry?" He tried to hide his shock, only being able to mask it partially. Joey took over from where Andrew had left off, "Yeah, it was weird; I didn't even know she existed last year, well except for whenever the football team threw slushies at her; morons got it on me one time. Once she came back this year it was like _bam _skank."

A few guys nodded in agreement; as juniors they didn't pay much attention to the freshman last year, but everyonein the school knew who the skanks were.

"Wait people threw slushies at her?" Jesse was trying to comprehend exactly all that happened the year he left Lima for Akron.

"Yeah, they throw 'em at everyone in the glee club. It was worse last year; now they only throw them at the asian chick, that kid in a wheelchair…" Andrew replied, his sentence drifted off while he tried to think of the other people in the glee club here. "Don't forget the gay kid," Calvin, another guy sitting at the table threw out.

"Wait people literally throw drinks on other people and get away with it?" he asked, anger growing slightly in his voice.

"Dude, chill. They're just stupid freshman, well they're sophomores now but still," Calvin replied; Jesse quickly signed him off as the asshole of the group.

"Well if you all will excuse me, I have ten minutes until I have to be in a room full of _stupid sophomores_," he quickly got up from his chair and left the cafeteria.

"Do you think we should tell him?" Andrew asked the rest of the table, watching as Jesse left; he felt bad about what Calvin had said; truth be told, Calvin was the biggest asshole he knew; he didn't even know why they hung out.

"About Berry? Nah, if he's got glee club with her he'll figure it out the minute he walks in," Joey replied.

* * *

Jesse walked into the choir room early, having left lunch early since he had gotten annoyed. What kind of school actually allows students to throw things at one another? The first high school he had gone to may not have worshipped the glee club like at Carmel, but no one messed with them; it annoyed him that people were being bullied because they had talent. Well, he assumed they did; they may not have won sectionals, which did tell Jesse they weren't _that _great, but they did exist, meaning they had to posses some sort of singing ability; Rachel did anyway.

After talking to the band about the kind of music New Directions typically played, he knew that since this was an audition it was best to know you're audience, he decided on doing a more recent number rather than show tunes; John Mayer wasn't his favorite singer, but the band knew the music and he had a feeling the rest of the glee club would enjoy it.

As the bell rang throughout the hallway, he made his way to the auditorium where the band informed him Mr. Schue usually held auditions; for the first time in maybe a year, Jesse St. James was nervous. Not because he was auditioning for New Directions, hell, he could get in whilst sleeping; No, he was nervous because he was going to see Rachel again.

A part of him vaguely remembered his aunt and uncle calling him sometime last year about her father passing away, but he had been at Vocal Adrenaline rehearsal at the time; after hearing their message he learned he was going to have rehearsal the time of the funeral as well, and decided it was best he just pretend he never got the call.

Now he was beginning to wish he had done the opposite. If Andrew and Joey were right, and he suspected they were, her dads death must have hit her harder than he thought it would, or told himself it would, anyway; once he got the news about it part of him knew it probably killed her, but he had been too caught up in himself to care.

Jesse walked into the small auditorium around the same time as a few people he had seen walking around school earlier that day; two of them were jocks, at least he assumed so given the McKinley jackets, one with blonde hair, the other with a mohawk; the other two were cheerleaders, or cheerios as the rest of the school referred to them as, one blonde and one Latina.

He made his way down the aisle to sit near the rest of New Directions, but turned around quickly feeling a hand on his shoulder; he hoped it would have been Rachel, but he knew it wouldn't be. "Dude, what are you doing here?" he asked Andrew who stood in front of him.

"Well I can't let you be the only senior in New Directions; plus I wanted to apologize for Calvin earlier. He's the biggest pain in the ass I know." he added with a laugh.

A smile broke out on Jesse's face, "Thanks, man. Aren't you on the basketball team though?"

"Yeah, but like I said, it's only to make my old man happy; if I wanna be a director I guess I should start doing a bunch of artsy stuff." he said. The brunette nodded approvingly and the two took their seats in the second row as they waited for the rest of New Directions to file in.

Not too long after they fell into conversation about the songs they would be auditioning with, Mr. Schue walked in happily announcing they were having someone audition today. "So, Jesse, you ready to show us your stuff?"

Jesse nodded, "Yes but my friend would actually like to audition as well," he said pointing towards Andrew. The teacher looked suspicious at first, not that he could blame him; from what he had heard it seemed not many people would willingly join the glee club.

"You're on the basketball team, right?" Will Schuester asked the blonde sitting next to Jesse. "Yes, sir," Andrew replied.

"Any reason you'd like to join glee club then?" He questioned.

"Well I'd actually like to be a director, I'm only on the team to make my dad happy; I figured if I want to be accepted at a school for directing I should probably do something related to the arts; especially since I'm a senior this year,'" he answered calmly; it impressed Jesse; if Mr. Schuester had been asking him everything he probably would've gotten mad for him for being so nosey.

The older man nodded and finally smiled, "Well then, which one of you wants to go first?" Both looked at each other for a moment and Andrew shrugged, "I'll do it."

Mr Schuester clapped his hands together, "great." He took a seat in the front row, watching as the student climbed onto the stage and walked over to talk to the band for a second. The opening music for All the Small Things by Blink 182 filled the auditorium, Andrews's voice shortly accompanying it.

He was better than Jesse expected; not quite as talented as himself but still, he was good. It wasn't the song choice he would've gone for, but then again he couldn't judge since he was doing a John Mayer song.

As the song ended the teens sitting in the audience applauded loudly, another thing that surprised Jesse. Vocal Adrenaline was cut throat, and _no one_ applauded a performance; they were all too busy holding their breath for Shelby's response.

Mr. Schuester stood up to congratulate Andrew, but as he turned around he noticed a couple walk into the auditorium, his male lead whispering something into the girls ear while she laughed loudly, neither caring about anything going on during glee club. "Rachel, Sebastian, how nice of you to join us." he said dryly.

Rachel Berry rolled her eyes, "oh relax, Mr. Schue. We were busy…" she trailed off as her eyes went back to the guy whose arm was around her shoulders.

"Doing something important, I'm sure," the teacher mumbled. "If you two don't mind, we have one more audition to hear so if you'll kindly take your seats."

The young man whispered something else into the girls ear causing her to laugh loudly again. "You're forgetting I can kick the both of you out of this club." The coach said sternly; for the first time Jesse was impressed with Mr. Schue.

For some reason unknown to Jesse this shut both students up immediately. He had yet to turn around and see her; if she was with a guy he wasn't sure if he could. Not because he would be jealous or anything, but Rachel was always like his little sister and if she really was a skank as he had been told, he couldn't imagine this Sebastian kid would be a good guy.

The two took their seats in the back row of the front section since Mr. Schue wouldn't let them be any farther away; as long as they were in the back no one else in New Directions would be able to see them making out should things get boring which, usually, they did.

Seeing Jesse take the stage caused Rachel to freeze. She knew he was here; after all she had run into him earlier, but for some reason she hadn't expected him to be here; it was stupid of her to think, but she was convinced that his ego wouldn't allow him to join a glee club that wasn't a winning one. At least, she assumed he had an ego; for someone who wouldn't go to a funeral because he cared too much about his spot in Vocal Adrenaline, it sure seemed like he had one.

She was surprised that he had decided to go with Gravity for his audition song; when they were kids and discussed how they planned to audition for musicals in New York he said he would never be caught dead singing a pop song. _He did always know how to play his audience though, _she thought with a sigh. She mentally shook all the thoughts away of their past because that's all it was; the past. There was no friendship between them anymore; that had ended a year ago.

_Gravity is working against me  
and gravity wants to bring me down_

Although he continued to look around at his audience, his eyes continued to drift towards Rachel. He made sure it wasn't obvious, but it was hard not to look at her; she looked different, but he could still see hints of the girl he used to know. Even though she may have on a ton of eyeliner and her hair wasn't completely brown anymore, she was just as beautiful as she used to be.

The song was never one he thought he would audition with, but by the time he had finished singing his audience, except for Sebastian and Rachel, were all standing, clapping and yelling loudly.

Jesse smiled, but it quickly turned into a frown seeing Rachel roll her eyes and leave the auditorium. As Mr. Schuester began speaking again Jesse was brought out of his thoughts and re-plastered his show face on; now there were two things he had to do before the end of the year: become male lead of New Directions (which he imagined wasn't going to be very hard), and get Rachel Berry back; _his _Rachel Berry.


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: Sorry this took so long! I went on vacation with my family and I didn't have much time to write. Anyway, enjoy (at least I hope you do)!**

* * *

After leaving glee club in a huff, Rachel sat down onto the couch located under the bleachers and took out a cigarette. How Quinn was able to supply her with them she was still curious about, but she knew better than to question the blonde.

She laughed thinking about how Mr. Schue will probably freak out tomorrow; it was a wonder he hadn't kicked her out yet, but that was Mr. Schue, every kid deserved a second, third, even fourth, chance. As she took a drag of her cigarette, only coughing a few times afterwards, her thoughts drifted to Jesse, even though she wished they wouldn't.

How _dare_ he come back acting like nothing had happened? Maybe he hadn't necessarily tried to talk to her yet, but the way he kept smiling at her during his song made her know that he would soon. She still wasn't completely sure why she had left glee club yet. No one at McKinley knew just how deep their relationship had been, and by leaving she may have just given it all away. There wasn't _that _much to tell, of course, they never did date or anything, but she ever since she was that little eight year old girl she had had a crush on him, and he had been her best friend, after all.

But she _had _to leave that performance; every girl in that room, especially Santana which only fueled her anger, looked at him like he was a piece of meat or something. She knew he was attractive, and hell, she had looked at him like that a few times too, but they weren't allowed to. He was Jesse; the very thought of anyone dating him (other than her, but of course that was crazy to think, and she wasn't ready to admit she wanted that either; besides she was dating Sebastian) didn't seem right.

She was torn back into reality when Quinn sat down next to her, "Heard from Puckerman that you left glee club early." The girl rolled her eyes and mumbled, "Asshole's still trying to get in my pants. Anyway, what happened? Mercedes say she's the best again even though she only has solos because you don't want them?"

Talk about Mercedes brought a smirk to both girls' faces; the poor girl never got solos when Rachel had initially started New Directions, although she was always after them. Since becoming a skank and not wanting to participate in glee, even though she had to, Rachel began denying solos, and they would then go to Mercedes.

"No, but I wouldn't be surprised if she started to again. You remember that Jesse guy I told you about?" She asked, not really expecting her remembrance.

"Hmm… Asshole that went to Carmel, left you all alone, reason we're friends?" Quinn asked slowly while her memory recollected what Rachel had told her.

"That's the one," she answered with a laugh. Of course she was thankful for Quinn's friendship, but she couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if Jesse had stuck around McKinley, or, at least, stuck around in her life. Would she still be the girl that wore animal sweaters to school and got slushied everyday? A voice in the back of her head said yes, and it was something she almost missed, but she ignored the thought, not wanting to dwell on the past or what could have been.

"What about him?" Quinn asked, pulling out her own cigarette and lighting it up.

"Well he's back in town… and at McKinley," she answered with a sigh.

"So he sang in glee club and had that smirk on his face you wouldn't stop talking about for a year, turned every girl on, especially Santana, and wants to be friends again but you're not sure about it because of what he did to you…?" The blonde asked, knowing full well she was right.

"He hasn't actually talked to me yet about being friends again, but he kept smiling at me during his performance and I know he wants to be," she answered, looking at the ceiling, as if God could magically tell her what to do.

"Forget him, then."

"Wh-What?" Rachel asked, looking at Quinn dumbstruck.

"Forget him. I mean, it's his fault for leaving you like that; he doesn't deserve to have you as his friend anymore," she answered flatly.

"It's not that easy, Quinn, he was my best friend," she replied, trying to talk some sense into the other girl; just forget Jesse? How could she do that? It didn't seem possible.

"And now you have me, simple as that." Rachel didn't have the heart to tell Quinn that she would never be able to replace Jesse. Sure she had been there for her when no one else was, but she didn't sing with her, or watch musicals, or even just sit around and laugh with her the way Jesse had.

"Hey Rachel, can I talk to you for a second?" She heard a voice say behind her; automatically she knew who it belonged to as well.

Quinn stood up, crossing her arms and glaring at the intruder, "and why on earth should she let you have that long?"

He sighed and looked at Rachel pleadingly as she turned around. "No, Quinn it's okay."

The other girl left in a huff, clearly more pissed about the situation than Rachel thought she should be; how was what she did with Jesse any of her concern? She may just be looking out for her but still; ultimately this was Rachel's decision.

"Well I can tell she likes me," he noted with a laugh.

"What the hell do you want, Jesse?" She asked with a sigh, standing up to go look at the empty field in front of them; her main concern was to look at anything but him.

"To ask what you're doing to yourself," he answered. Rachel turned to look at him; he seemed completely genuine, and in that moment she knew he still cared about her, but that didn't change anything. He had still completely abandoned her, asking if she was okay wasn't going to change all the anger she still felt towards him.

"That's all you have to say? After the hell I had to go through without my best friend, the hell that was ten times worse because the one person I needed most left me for his reputation, and all you want to know is what's wrong with what I'm doing now?" She said, her tone attempting to sound harsh, but the cracks in it revealing that she wanted to cry just thinking about it; the sound broke Jesse's heart. He had meant for an apology to be the first thing he said but instead he had seen her with a cigarette in her hand and all other thoughts left his mind. She was smoking now? Getting her back seemed like it was going to be a much larger task than he thought. "That's not good enough, Jesse." she continued.

"Look, Rach–"he started.

"You don't get to call me that!" she cut him off; he had been the only person she allowed to call her Rach, but after everything the very mention of the nickname made her sick.

He continued calmly, "look, Rachel, you may not believe it, but I do still care about you. I mean, look at you. You're smoking for Christ's sake!"

"And who's the reason I'm in this position?" she retorted. "There's actually a lot about me that you don't know. As hard as it may be to believe, rumors aren't always true, and I know you've heard some or else you wouldn't be here. My reputation is mostly fueled by them, but I know you know all about reputations seeing as how they're more important to you than people." Half the things the school assumed Rachel did, she didn't; she may hang out with the skanks, but she was hardly like any of them.

He winced at her words and took a step forward to her, "that's not true." He said, knowing full well that it was, or at least it had been. Now his care was only veered towards the brunette standing in front of him.

"Oh it's not? So when Cat and Drew called you to ask you to come to my dad's funeral, and you said no because, oh what was the excuse they used to cover for you again, your parents wouldn't let you? It wasn't actually because you had Vocal Adrenaline practice and couldn't stand the thought of your friends finding out that you had a friend that wasn't just a rich carbon copy?"

"That's not why…" He began, although he still had yet to come up with a lie to cover for himself.

"Really? Then, please, enlighten me." She answered, throwing her cigarette on the ground and stepping on it.

"I…" for once, Jesse St. James was left speechless.

Rachel laughed and shook her head at his stunned silence, "that's what I thought. Just do me a favor and leave." Turning away from him, she began to stare at the empty field again, praying to God that he couldn't see the tears that began running down her cheeks.

He turned around to leave, but looked at her a final time before speaking, "I really am sorry, Rachel. I know I should have never left you like that, but I can't change anything that happened. I want to be in your life again, but I can't do that until you let me. You know I can be just as stubborn as you are, and I am not giving up."

She heard his footsteps slowly drown out as he walked away, and she wondered how on earth she was supposed to feel about everything that just happened. On one side, her heart leapt that he still cared about her, but she was still mad about how he had left. Did it really take him having to leave to see how much he cared about her?

After hearing him leave she made her way to the parking lot to go home. She still may have had a class left but she couldn't bring herself to deal with it, she was crying enough as it is.

She came home to yet another empty house, not that it surprised her. Ever since her dad's death, her father tended to either spend all day at his little office in the house, or at the actual office building, usually he chose the latter. Their family had died along with her dad's death; it was sad, but true.

After looking for a note she knew wouldn't actually be there, she made her way up to her room and took out her sketch book; drawing was one of the things she had picked up after her dad's death. She flipped it open and began to try and let herself forget about Jesse and their conversation that day; just seeing him again had taken its toll on her, let alone having a full-out conversation.

The doorbell rang which confused her; her dad had a key and Sebastian would have texted her first, leaving her with no idea as to who was at her door.

She made her way down the stairs and opened the door, even more confused at the sight of a pizza delivery man. "Um I didn't order a…" she looked at him, her brow furrowed.

"It's already paid for," the guy answered. He handed her the pizza with a smile, and after thanking him, she closed the door and placed it on the dining room table.

Rachel opened the box and immediately began laughing. On the pizza were the words 'I'm sorry' written in M&Ms, just like the one from Princess Diaries, a movie she had obsessed over when she was younger, and had always made Jesse watch with her.

* * *

"Again? Rachel we've watched this _so _many times already!" He said with a laugh as he watched her pop in the DVD and grab the bowl of popcorn her dads had made them before they had gone upstairs.

"Don't pretend you don't love it!" she said while plopping herself down on the couch and placing the popcorn in between them. Most girls in her class said that girls can't be friends with boys, they had to _like_ like each other, but whenever they heard that she was hanging out with Jesse, they were quick to say that they could remain friends, so long as she invited them over at the same time he would be there. Sometimes it surprised her that he would still hang out with her; he was in middle school, after all, and she was still in elementary school. She knew his friends made fun of him for it sometimes, but he always assured her that she was worth it.

"How come we can never watch a musical or something?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes, "we do sometimes, but now we're watching Anne Hathaway learn she's actually a princess."

"You're lucky that I like spending time with you," he retorted.

"And you're lucky that you have such an awesome person to spend time with; now shush the movie's starting." She replied before grabbing the remote and turning the sound up.

Jesse laughed quietly and looked at her for a moment while she watched the movie; she was definitely worth the crap he got from his friends for hanging out with a nine year old.

Towards the end of the movie, Rachel's head had ended up on Jesse's shoulder, and she was half asleep, like almost every other time they watched a movie together.

"I wish a boy would do that," she said sleepily with a sigh as Mia, Anne Hathaway's character, opened the pizza box to see 'I'm sorry' written on it in candy.

"Well you're still in elementary school, Mia's in high school; even in middle school no one does that," Jesse pointed out.

She sighed again, "how come boys are so annoying?" Automatically Jesse knew she was starting feel insecure about herself which killed him; she was only nine, what on earth would happen when they were in high school, where things like that mattered _much _more than in elementary school, and slightly more than in middle school? "Well thanks," he said with a laugh. Rachel looked up at him, her eyes still as wide as they were the day he had met her, "you know I didn't mean you."

"Tell you what, if by the time you're as old as Mia and no one has sent you a pizza saying 'I'm sorry' with M&Ms, I will be the one to." He said with an amused smile.

"Promise?" she asked. "Promise," he replied, not knowing at the time he wouldn't even have to promise, he'd be the boy that'd need to do it anyway.

* * *

While she had been reliving the memory in her head, she had absentmindedly texted the very person she had been thinking about.

_You know it's going to take more than pizza –R _


	4. Chapter 3

**AN: Sorry I know this came out later than I meant for it to, but I had writers block & I went out of town to places I didn't have time to write at. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the chapter and sorry again about the wait**

* * *

Walking into McKinley for his second day of school there, Jesse felt more confident than ever. He knew sending Rachel the pizza the night before had been a long shot, and he had an even smaller feeling that she would respond, but receiving a text from her about it had given him high hopes for his new mission of returning Rachel back to normal. He had responded to her quickly, although he never received any response in return, which was something that, even though he preferred not to admit it, wounded his pride.

His first few classes had drifted by with him half paying attention, and already he had his first study hall; other than glee, which although the club itself wasn't as great as Vocal Adrenaline, he had to admit it was fun; it was his favorite time of the day. It seemed like no one else in the school had a free period the same time as him (which wasn't true of course, but he spent his time in the choir room, where no one else did).

A few minutes into fourth period the hall was already deserted, and, taking delight in the quiet, he walked to the choir room where he planned on working on his assignment for glee club, since apparently Mr. Schue, instead of working on their competition, liked to give them assignments to 'teach them life lessons' or something like that. This week was supposed to be relationships or something, only they weren't allowed to be simply relationships, it had to be a deep connection or some fluffy shit like that.

Noticing that the choir room was void of the piano he had gone there looking for, he went to the auditorium, figuring it was never moved after the auditions yesterday. Before opening the door, he heard the faint sound of a piano and snuck into the theater quietly, hoping to find out who was playing.

The look and feel of the auditorium varied from Carmel's completely; everything about the theater had a warmer sense of feeling. At his school in Akron, it was cold and dark, despite the bright lights that shone in it; a place where you knew that if you messed up, there was no room to fix it and try again, you had to be perfect.

This auditorium, however, gave off a lighter feel, one that Mr. Schue himself embodied. The set wasn't as nice, and the people in it weren't as talented, but it was a place that you could call home. It modeled Cat and Drew's house, whereas the one at Carmel modeled his parents.

Looking ahead at the girl at the piano, he noticed it was Rachel Berry; the very image of her sitting there took him back to the day they met, something he was surprised he even remembered. The song was beautiful, but as he searched his mind for where it was from he couldn't figure it out.

The words that seemed to fall endlessly gave him a bigger sense of guilt than he had previously. The words, which he had now assumed were written by her, began to plead where her angel was, and that what had happened wasn't only her fault, and for whomever the song was to, to realize that she was trying her best to fix things.

As the song finished, the final notes bouncing off the walls of the auditorium until finally drowning away, Jesse stood up from his seat, and began walking down the aisle. "That was beautiful, Rachel, a few things I would change, but it suits you. You wrote it, I'm assuming?"

She stood up, and, for a brief moment, he worried she would leave, and it even appeared that she was considering it, but as if some magical force had her anchored there, she remained still. "Yeah I did actually," she answered quietly, looking down at her feet. That song was personal; it was something no one was supposed to hear, let alone the person it was written about.

Rachel looked up to see Jesse standing to the side of her now, studying her before saying anything, "is it written about anything, or anyone, in particular?"

She laughed in a way that was bitter, but a sense of pain lied underneath it, one that neither of them were quite aware of, "You should already know the answer to that." She began to walk away, but as Jesse grabbed her elbow she paused.

"You know you never texted me back last night," he said with a grin ghosting his lips. "And you know most people don't send pizza's to strangers," she retorted.

"So I'm a stranger, now?" He asked, taking a step back out of shock. Sure they hadn't seen each other in a while, but a stranger? He knew more about her than he assumed anyone else did, he might not know more recent things, but there were nights she would tell him everything, things he wouldn't dare forget. Now she wanted to say they were strangers?

"I don't know Jesse, are you?" she sputtered out angrily. "Do you know anything going on in my life right now?" Rachel asked. "Did you know that I actually continue to get A's in my classes? That the only reason I'm in glee club is because it was either that or suspension because I got caught smoking on school grounds? That I don't even smoke except maybe once a day, if that. I'm not stupid; I know it could mess up my voice."

"You're right; I don't know anything going on in your life now, because you won't let me!" he replied angrily. He wanted to go back and rejoice that she was still Rachel, just with a different reputation and looks, but he couldn't. He had to argue with her; how could she complain that he didn't know her when she was the reason why?

Not being able to find the words to come back at him with, Rachel scoffed and left; this time Jesse let her. It was hard finding words to come at her with when all her arguments made too much sense. He had fucked up; he knew that. Now all he needed was for her to realize that he knew that.


	5. Chapter 4

"But why do you think he's so persistent about it?" Rachel asked, breaking the previous silence between her and Quinn. She had tried, with little success, to forget about Jesse. For some reason he was a touchy subject with Quinn, so it was a topic she often tried to avoid; but who else could she talk to? She didn't have a mother, and she practically didn't even have a father; the other skanks were nice, in their own way, but none of them, except for Quinn, seemed very approachable with boy problems unless she had a pregnancy scare or was waiting for results of an STD testing.

"God Berry, is he all you're ever going to talk about now?" Quinn replied with a groan, followed by taking a long drag of her cigarette before continuing on, "he probably just feels guilty and wants to clear his conscious, or of course he just wants to pop your berry."

"Quinn!" She shrieked, knowing that her cheeks were flaming red. "What?" the blonde asked with an amused smile, "Whenever a guy has been this persistent with me, that's all he wanted."

"But Jesse isn't like that," Rachel said quickly, "he seems far too nice to only be after something like that."

"You know you can say the word sex; it isn't that hard," Quinn stated, her eyebrow risen. "I know I can _say_ it," she said in an attempt to sound nonchalant.

"I have no idea how I managed to make the whole school think you're a skank when you're about as skanky as a care bear," the blonde shook her head and chuckled.

Rachel opened her mouth to direct the conversation back to her Jesse problems, but shut it figuring Quinn had left that part of the conversation on purpose.

They slipped back into a silence that wasn't as far as awkward, but definitely not comfortable. The only sounds were from Coach Beiste yelling at the football players on the field, and Rachel's occasional hacking from inhaling too much smoke; smoking wasn't really her forte yet, a fact she was proud to admit to herself, but as far as anyone else knew, she did almost as much as Quinn.

She began to wonder again about her question Quinn never answered; why _was _he so persistent? He had reason to feel guilty about what he'd done, at least she thought so, but he didn't seem like to type to really feel guilty about anything, not after his days at Carmel.

For a brief moment she thought Quinn _could _be right about the second part of her theory, even if she had been joking (although Rachel was still fuzzy about whether or not she had been kidding). He could just want to sleep with her, but the way he was being persistent didn't seem sexual in any way. When guys tried to get with Quinn, they would throw their arm around her, tell her a cheesy line, and get rejected. Jesse was different, and she was pretty sure if he had wanted to sleep with her, his demeanor wouldn't have been so gentle.

"I have to go change for dance," Rachel said with a sigh, breaking the silence yet again. She threw her cigarette on the ground, stepped on it, and looked at Quinn to see if she had heard her.

"You still take that?" Quinn asked, furrowing her brow. "Remember when Figgins told me I had to stay in glee club?" she nodded. "That included dance classes; I think Mr. Schuester probably talked him into making me continue the class hoping I'd go back to the girl I was last year," Rachel answered with a shrug.

"Well _I_ like the new you," Quinn stated, cocking her head to the side. "You're the only one," Rachel murmured as she walked away, giving a small wave to her friend and hoping she hadn't heard her. Rachel was grateful for Quinn ad their friendship, but she was beginning to waver on how she felt with her current situation, more so than she was before.

* * *

"…and now here I am; back in Lima, on a losing glee club, and, for the first time in a while, caring about someone other than myself," Jesse had finally explained the whole situation to Andrew, who had easily become his closest friend despite the usual habit Jesse had of building walls.

"So that's why you got so mad at lunch the first day when you learned about how bullied New Directions is," Andrew thought aloud.

He nodded at first to confirm what Andrew had said, but unable to hold back his constant thoughts began speaking again. "I just don't understand why she won't even talk to me," he continued, "and every time I try we somehow end up fighting."

"Maybe you just have to give her some time to think about things..." Andrew offered, but Jesse quickly began verbalizing his thoughts again, now beginning to pace around the empty library. "If sorry isn't enough, then what is? What am I supposed to do? Get Barbra to apologize for me?" He paused for a moment as if considering what he had just said, "actually I wonder if my dad's friend is still friends with her manager…" he muttered.

He knew he sounded crazy, at least part of him did, but the overwhelming part that wanted nothing more than to be forgiven didn't care. He felt guilty about what he had done, sure, but mostly he just missed Rachel. It may sound selfish that that was his main reason for wanting her to forgive him, which was something he wondered a few times, but after realizing that she was probably happier as the theater geek he knew and loved (as a little sister, of course), he realized maybe it wasn't completely selfish, even if it had started out that way.

"Okay, okay, Jesse, at first it was endearing but now you're going crazy. You're not getting Barbra Streisand to apologize to Rachel for you, if you even_ could_ do that, although knowing you, you'd figure out a way to make it happen," Andrew said in an attempt Jesse out of his thoughts.

"It wouldn't be _that_ hard, and imagine it: not only would she get Rachel to forgive me she'd also bring back the old Rachel, and-"

"Dude," Andrew yelled cutting him off, "you're not getting Streisand, end of story."

"No, no, you're right; I have to do this on my own, I fucked up and now I have to fix it," Jesse replied, finally beginning to come back to reality. "This is just so hard; back at Carmel, people were trying to impress _me, _I didn't have to worry about all this, and even before Carmel, Rachel and I were friends, so I never had to worry about earning her forgiveness." He threw himself down on the plush chair next to Andrews and groaned.

"Well how about instead of pestering her twenty-four/seven, you give her some space, but subtly show her the things she probably misses from her days as a thespian," he offered his idea again, this time being slowly accepted.

"That seems like such a plain way to do it, but I guess elaborate isn't really going to work in this situation; she'd probably find me more annoying," he replied.

"Any ideas on how you're going to manage being plain and simple for a change?" the blond asked, amused that doing something non-elaborate was considered a challenge.

"Not sure yet, but I'll think of something," he answered. "I have to go change for dance before class starts."

"You take dance?" his friend asked.

"Do you really expect me to get on Broadway without any dancing experience? I know I've got a great voice, but even that will only take me part of the way," Jesse answered while collecting his things. "Oh and by the way, thanks, man," he said sincerely before heading out of the library to class.

* * *

Dance was always Rachel's favorite class, now more than ever. She had lied to Quinn about why she continued to take the class; half of the statement had been true of course, Figgins was forcing her to stay in New Directions, but dance was still her idea. Ever since taking on the role (that was what she considered it to be now) of a skank, anything related to performing seemed to leave her life. It was okay at first; to be honest, she didn't want it in her life anyway, all of it was a painful reminder of her father. Now, though, she was starting to miss it again. Walking out onto a stage, feeling the warm glow of stage lights on her face, and the tears that would inevitably fall down her cheeks while singing a solo; they were all things she missed and wanted back desperately.

The only things standing in her way of going back to fully embracing her love of performing again were the uncertainties of changing her whole persona again. With Quinn things were different; she knew she would have at least one friend, but freshman year no one in New Directions really liked Rachel much. They only tolerated her because her talent could take them places. Although she had been a girl that knew she was destined for Broadway and New York City, she wasn't sure she could face three more years of feeling utterly alone.

Then again, there was always Jesse, the very person who could probably talk her into going either way. She knew he wanted her to go back to the way she was, but he had turned into such a wild card. If she changed herself again, what were the chances he'd stick around in her life this time? There was a fifty-fifty chances of either spending the rest of her high school career alone, this time without family, or spending it having at least Jesse, which would be enough so long as he stuck around.

At the very moment she began getting lost in the battle between herself with Jesse as a main argument, because he never fails to miss a cue even if it's only in her head, he came into the studio. She should have known he would take this, maybe she had just hoped he wouldn't, or she had actually forgotten for a moment, but either way he was here now. Thankfully he hadn't noticed her yet, although being in a studio surrounded by mirrors doesn't really help someone wanting to hide. Her eyes drifted everywhere pretending as if she hadn't noticed him, Jesse doing almost the same thing on the side of the studio he had entered. He had noticed her though, and the very sight filled him with hope all over again. It reminded him of so many things between the two of them, one instance when he was twelve in particular.

* * *

Jesse sat in between his uncle and Rachel's dad, reading through his program for about the tenth time. He, his aunt, and his uncle, had gone to the theater with Rachel and her dads, who didn't think it made sense to drop Rachel off early as instructed and then leave, so here they were, still sitting in the theater.

Thankfully though, just as the guy in front of Jesse, who, admittedly, he had been eavesdropping on out of sheer boredom, was about to go into another story about some sports thing that happened to some college no one cared about, in a town no one cared about, the lights dimmed, a spotlight beginning to shine through the darkness.

Rachel had been in the party seen as one of the girls, and again as one of the snowflakes, something she was thrilled about since most girls in her class had only gotten one part, but, of course, Rachel had managed to impress everyone. He wasn't sure if it was because he knew her or not, but she was all he looked at whenever she was on stage; even as more dancers filed onto the stage, his eyes stayed glued on her, as if they couldn't look anywhere else.

Although he loved watching Rachel dance, two hours of nothing but ballet wasn't thrilling to a twelve year old boy, even as artistic as he may be. He had liked it plenty, but there were moments where he had wished it would just be over, and soon enough it was.

He stood with her and his families as they waited for her to emerge from the stage door, and after a few of the older girls left, Rachel busted out, immediately trapping Jesse in a hug. "I didn't think you were coming!" she exclaimed with joy and shock. Looking down she noticed the flowers he had been holding she had semi flattened moments ago by hugging him, "oh Jesse they're beautiful!" He laughed and said something about how they weren't supposed to flatten so easily, but Rachel was busy looking over at one of the high school girls whose friend had brought her flowers too, she had thanked him followed by kissing his cheek. Even though Rachel liked to think she didn't have to look up to the older girls, she wanted to impress Jesse by showing him that even though she was ten, she didn't act like a ten year old. After turning back to him she smiled and thanked him again, all the while thinking, _'okay Rachel, you can do this, it's totally a normal thing to do.' _And just like that, she stood on her tiptoes, kissed his cheek, and continued past him to talk to her dads like nothing had happened, even though, on the inside, both of them were freaking out.

* * *

Looking back on it now, it made him want to laugh at how stunned he was by the simple action. He had already had his first kiss by then, but the fact that it was Rachel meant something; he hadn't been quite sure of _what_ it meant, and even now he still wasn't, but he did know that it had, because he felt it.

Their dance teacher Miss Robin, who always instructed they use her first name with miss rather than last, bustled into the room just as the bell rang, quieting an already quiet studio. Everything about her was average; she was in her mid-thirties, and had long brown hair. The only thing extraordinary about her was her dancing, but she had fallen during a rehearsal a few years ago and was unable to do anything but teach.

Not that that meant she was bad at teaching; she was able to show them what to do (even that was bad according to her doctor, not that she cared), she just wasn't able to perform the whole thing at once. "I'm going to assume you read the syllabus for this class already, and I'm also going to assume you didn't take this class for just an easy A. That being said, we're going to warm up and then I'm putting you into pairs, and I'm going to begin teaching you some choreography I worked on over the summer," she said while walking to the back of the studio to press the play button on an old, worn-down stereo.

During their warm up, Rachel and Jesse went through the motions that required little effort, all the while continuing to sneak glances at each other, but, being on opposite sides of the studio, never got the chance to talk. "Since I only know a few of you, I'm going to call off pairs from my list of names, and I want you to stand next to each other after you're called," Robin McGuire explained. "Okay, Adam and Hannah… Garrett and Samantha…" With every name called Rachel grew more nervous about whom her partner would be. She was ninety-percent sure that it would end up being Jesse, because lately her luck hadn't been so great, and, sure enough, their names were called next. "Rachel and Jesse…" Whatever names called after hers were lost on her; she was too busy wondering how awkward this would be.

"So I guess we're partners," Jesse leaned over and whispered to her after walking over to stand next to her as instructed. He ran his hand through his hair awkwardly and she kept her eyes glued to her feet. "Yeah I guess we are; figures, doesn't it?" she whispered back with a laugh. "Well maybe Miss Robin has a sixth sense like someone else I know," he said with a smirk. Rachel covered her mouth to try and stifle her laughter, and a few other people in the class looked over at her while their teacher said the last few names. She opened her mouth to respond at the same time Miss McGuire clapped her hands and asked them if they were ready, so instead of saying anything she decided it'd be best to stay quiet.

"Now, because of my accident I can only show you what to do a few times so pay attention." Their instructor began showing the first steps slowly, followed by speeding them up, and finally adding music. Usually Rachel would have been completely into what it was they were doing, but she continued to replay her and Jesse's previous conversation over and over again in her head. That had probably been the first time they had talked without an argument erupting, and, not only that, she had laughed and for a brief moment, everything between them felt normal; she worried that now that she had felt it once, she would begin longing for it.

They were dismissed early so they could change, and since it was their first class their teacher didn't want to overload them on steps (even if they could have taken it). Rachel tried to change and hurry off quickly to avoid Jesse, but he managed to catch up to her in the empty hallway. "Hey are you okay? You seemed kind of out of it during class."

"What?" She looked over at him briefly before looking down again and walking slightly faster. "Oh yeah I'm fine, just tired, that's all."

"Oh okay well," whatever it was he was going to say she never knew since at the same time Quinn called out from the other side of the hall asking if Rachel wanted to skip math, and, for the sake of not having to deal with whatever could happen between her and Jesse, she agreed, saying a quick apology to him and running off to where Quinn was. As the two girls walked away, she stole a quick glance at Jesse, who by then had stopped watching her walk away and gone off to over think their small encounter like she had done earlier.

* * *

**AN: oh look a small glimpse of hope wheee~  
hope you all enjoyed!**


	6. Chapter 5

By the time Friday had rolled around during the first week of school, most students had finally begun setting into their routines; the talk of summer had died down, and people were now eagerly awaiting the fall. Jesse, although he was missing his classes at Carmel, was beginning to slightly warm up to McKinley's classes, dance continuing to be his favorite, even if it was mostly because it was the only time Rachel would talk to him.

Every time they had class they continued to share small conversations, which still may not have been enough to quite consider them friends yet, but it was beginning to remind him of the friendship they once had. Today's class proved no different for their usual two second conversations, except this time Jesse planned on his first attempt at having them return to their previous friendship.

"So I had an idea," Jesse whispered quietly as he turned Rachel, while Ms. Robin eyed another pair, who continued to mess up, rather than him and Rachel.

"_oooo_ sounds exciting," she said just over a whisper.

"Rachel, Jesse! If you want to talk you can either leave the studio or wait until class is over," their instructor's voice echoed through the studio. Both teens mumbled sorry, but minutes after the attention was no longer on them, Jesse saw it fit to continue with their conversation.

"So back to this plan," he continued as soon as she had spun back into his arms. "Yes, back to your plan," she smiled, remembering this time to keep her voice down.

"It involves you, me, and my vast collection of musicals tonight, just like we used to do," Jesse offered; he knew it'd be a stretch since every time he tried to talk to her after dance she'd find an excuse to run off, but maybe if she didn't have a place to run off to and over think things, she'd say yes without thinking of any consequences. Although the kind of consequences that would come from the two hanging out were ones he really couldn't see being bad.

Her face automatically showed a mixture of regret and sympathy, and immediately he knew the answer to his offer would be a no. "Oh, Jesse, I love your plan, I really do, but I um… I have a date tonight," she answered meekly with a shrug, "rain check?"

Jesse nodded, his pride refusing to let him show any signs of defeat, "sounds great; just know they're sitting around waiting to be sung along with." After that, they had stopped talking, mostly to keep from getting caught, but also because neither were quite sure what to say. He started to wonder if he may have screwed up the small glimpse of friendship they had begun to build, but she did look genuinely saddened that she couldn't go tonight, so maybe getting back the old Rachel wasn't going to be as hard as he originally thought.

* * *

"So there's a party tonight to 'welcome the new year' or whatever," Joey informed everyone sitting around the table in the midst of the cafeteria; it consisted of the same people as Jesse's first day here.

"Basically Trent's parents are already out of town and his fake ID can get us enough beer for all the seniors to get wasted," Andrew added, not even bothering to look up from the homework he was doing.

Jesse looked around the table wondering if this meant he had plans for tonight now; getting drunk wasn't all that appealing, at least for tonight anyway, but it _could_ get his mind off Rachel. "So is this actually something worth going to, or is it gonna just end up sucking?"

"Oh it's definitely something worth going to; it's free beer and good music," Calvin said, "plus did you really have anything better to do?"

He considered the question for a second; his original plans may not have worked out, but he probably could find something better to do than some party full of idiotic jocks full of alcohol. Then again, he went back to his previous thoughts that it could get his mind off a certain brunette, and maybe then he wouldn't have to worry about this new mission he created for himself.

* * *

Rachel stood in the middle of her bedroom, staring at her reflection in the full-length mirror. This wasn't her first party of course, but every time she got ready for one it was a strange experience; she hardly ever recognized herself. The dress she had on was a small black number, with straps that crossed in the back, and a length that barely reached mid-thigh. Her eyes were lined with a coal black color, matched with a purple smoky eye. The strappy dark violet heels she wore gave her an extra three inches and, although slightly uncomfortable, made her legs look ten miles long. Quinn had helped her find the outfit sometime during the summer after informing her that since she was a skank she'd start getting invited to these kinds of parties; dating Sebastian guaranteed getting invites as well.

"Hey babe, you look great," Sebastian strolled into her room, placing his arm around her waist and pressing a kiss on her temple.

Rachel smiled in reply and smoothed her dress out, feeling it should be longer than it was. "Are we meeting Quinn there or picking her up?"

"You know she hates relying on people at parties. If some asshole tries to get with her she'll leave, but she can't do that if I'm her way home since I'll be there a while," he replied knowingly. The three of them had become somewhat of a trio. Rachel and Sebastian would have their private moments, but overall, with things such as parties and any other times they wanted to be stupid and get drunk, Quinn was along with them.

"Right and she _is_ Quinn so that's likely to happen, unless someone's there that's actually worth fucking." For a skank, Quinn could be awfully picky with guys; Rachel figured that was why so many of them desired her. She did typically leave parties early because of some creep, but this was the first party of the school year, and Rachel knew as well as she did that how you acted at the first party was how people assumed you'd act at all the rest. If Quinn left too early, people wouldn't bother to invite her again; high school was stupid like that, she figured.

"Oh she'll find a senior or something," Sebastian replied flippantly. He knew as well as Rachel did that any of the seniors would be happy to be with the blonde tonight, and, if Quinn was desperate enough, one of them would.

_Shit. _Rachel wasn't sure if she had said it aloud or just thought it, but she had completely forgotten her date she had mentioned earlier to Jesse was her going to a party held by a senior. She had a bad feeling that Jesse would be at that party, him being a senior and all. She could easily handle him during dance; it was a time where she could easily switch to the old her, but she couldn't handle him outside of class, especially now that her boyfriend was going to be there.

"What?" The question answered her question of whether or not she had said shit aloud. "Oh, nothing," she replied with a wave of her hand, "you ready to go?"

"Yeah," Sebastian nodded and led her out the door to his car.

* * *

"You look hot," Quinn walked up to Rachel and Sebastian, "can I pick out dresses or what?" Rachel smiled awkwardly not sure how to respond, and Sebastian, noticing a few of his friends, said a quick goodbye to both girls and went to talk to the people who invited him here in the first place.

"So, you find any man candy yet?" Rachel asked in her best attempt to direct the topic away from herself.

Quinn rolled her eyes accompanied with a scoff, "_please_, I just got here a few minutes ago. Some guy on the football team is hot though, and I do keep catching him looking at me so we'll see what happens."

She shook her head, _typical Quinn. _Rachel knew that, soon enough, she'd end up alone, with Quinn off making out with some guy and Sebastian talking to whoever walked up to him next. She liked parties, she really did, but usually they were all the same; come with friends, chill out alone wherever it was quiet, leave with friends. However, the parties made her feel wanted, like she had people that actually wanted to spend time with her, even if that required wearing three inch heels and a dress short enough to make her feel like a stripper.

The two continued to talk until, as predicted, Quinn went off to make out with the same football player she talked about earlier. Rachel looked around for Sebastian, but as soon as she found him he gave her a quick kiss and told her he was going on a beer run with 'the guys'; for a guy in New Directions she had no idea how he managed to be so popular.

As usual, Rachel found a place quiet enough to settle her needs, this time that place being the back porch, where, if the glass doors were shut, the music was drowned out enough to only hear it barely. It being late August, the cool air hit her immediately, but, being too desperate for a minute alone, she braved the chill and stood looking at the night sky.

"Doesn't a date usually require two people?" A voice said behind her, causing her to jump and place her hand over her heart, "God Jesse, don't you know not to sneak up on a girl while she's in a dramatic inner monologue?" Already the way she spoke was different around him. The changing of speech was normal for most people depending on who they were with, or so she assumed anyway, but still, it was the fact that Jesse could induce that change so quickly in her that always got under her skin; she was still unsure whether or not it was in a good way.

He smirked at her; the same smirk that she used to obsess over when she was younger. "But yes, a date typically requires two people, and I'll have you know this one is no exception. My date just happens to be on a beer run with a few guys."

"'Course he is," Jesse walked over to her, "I think I saw Quinn earlier, why isn't she out here with you, going over dramatic inner monologues?" He raised his eyebrow, the smirk never leaving his face.

"Oh she found a football player," she sighed, "and what's that supposed to mean? 'Of course he is'?"

"Nothing," he said drawling out the word. "Just that, as your boyfriend, I would think he'd want to be with you seeing as he's the one that brought you here."

"And he has been with me… some of the time, but I'm not some clingy girlfriend; we don't have to spend every moment attached at the hip."

Rachel wasn't completely sure why Jesse was so avid in putting down Sebastian, but he was generally a nice guy and a good boyfriend; she felt like she needed to defend him.

"Well you seem to be having a lot of fun out here by yourself," he noted.

She crossed her arms, "I am, thank you."

This was bad; bad for Jesse, anyway. The conversation, though starting well, was beginning to turn defensive again. He wasn't sure why, but for some reason he hated Sebastian; all the guy did was date Rachel, and based on how she defended him, he was probably a pretty good boyfriend, but it still infuriated him.

"Let's get out of here."

"Wh-What?" Rachel stuttered, looking at him in disbelief.

"Face it: neither of us are exactly having the time of our lives. So, why don't we just leave?" He waited for her response, trying not to look too expecting.

Her eyes narrowed as she considered his offer; he was right, she wasn't exactly having tons of fun, but she couldn't just leave Quinn and Sebastian, could she?

"Fine."

Carefully remembering to keep his show face on to keep from revealing how happy he was she agreed, he walked back in the house with Rachel right behind him, said bye to Joey and a few other guys he knew, and went back to where he parked his car. Ever the gentlemen, he opened the door for her, climbing into the driver's side seconds after.

"You know you could just take me home," Rachel broke the silence after texting Sebastian to tell him she found a ride home since she had to be there soon or else her dad would ground her; it was a lie obviously, but what was she supposed to say?

"Where's the fun in that?" he asked, glancing at her with the glint in his eye she knew meant he was excited about something.

"I hope you realize this could count as kidnapping."

"No it doesn't," he retorted.

Rachel crossed her arms, "and why is that?"

"Because you want to go," he replied smugly, looking over at her expression that looked annoyed with the exception of her eyes giving way to the truth that he was right.

* * *

**AN: Nothing to say other than I hope you liked it!**


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